Hi ho, Hi ho, it’s off to work I go....!!!

I’m writing my final blog entry on the quest to find a new job whilst sat on my roof balcony, drinking a glass of wine and savouring the glorious rays of sunshine, as this my friends is my final evening of unemployment (on the day that the sun decides it’s coming out “properly” for summer – typical when it’s the eve of my starting a sweaty commute on the Northern line!!!) I resisted the urge to write a hasty entry last week rabbiting on about my new job, just in case it all ended in tears (although I did update my Facebook status – to which I received 38 message of congrats – HOORAH!!!!)

In my 140 days of unemployment I have applied for 162 jobs (many of which I believe were phantom), I have been to 15 interviews and written 7 blog entries (including this one), I have written 6 full on marketing plans for various companies and presented them. I have been gazumped, I have been offered 3 jobs to then be usurped by internal candidates, I have been told that a 16 page marketing plan and presentation I prepared for 7city Learning for a Marketing Exec role wasn’t detailed enough (after receiving that email I called them and asked them to expand – they couldn’t. I think they were sore as I took my handouts back; totally sick of putting all my ideas on the table for the lead to then go cold – you want my ideas – you hire me!) Ooh, I’ve dealt with brilliant recruitment consultants and I’ve dealt with some right numpties. The mistake the bad ones have made is to forget that one day I may become their client – I know exactly who I’ll be calling when I need to recruit!!! I have also made some great contacts thanks to my blog, and my eternal gratitude is extended to Jamie for sending bits and bobs of work my way - kept my pockets lightly lined and also kept me out of mischief!

I chose to write this entry today for a particular reason – as it has been the underlying theme throughout my blog: today was the day I said goodbye to the SW16 degenerates. I have officially been signed off; I am no longer contractually obliged to show my face down the Jobcentre plus office once a week as I am now entering gainful employment. I still had to wait a while to be seen, but once I was seen I joyfully told Ayo that I wouldn’t be seeing her anymore. She said congratulations, said she knew the moment she mentioned I would have to attend a “back to work” seminar with the other unemployed folk that I was destined to not attend!

I did however leave there with a tinge of sadness today – there were even more “normal” people in there than ever, but I did overhear a couple of conversations and they all sounded as though they were going to get a job soon which is good. What really made me sad though was the obvious lack of resources. The degenerates as I refer to them don’t have a hope in hell in finding work (not all of them, but the majority). They come in and abuse staff with their cans of Tenants Super in one hand and betting slip in another, moaning that they have to wait to be seen, when all they want to do is rush off to the nearest bookies so they can put a £1 each-way bet on the 3.40 at Doncaster! What good is a “back to work” seminar for these folk who know no different – surely they’d be better off receiving a life-skills course and a lesson in how not to pi*s your £64 a week up the wall?!

Anyhow – that is another blog piece altogether, let’s get back to me!!!! After a wee mental set back a few weeks ago, after feeling woefully sorry for myself things suddenly picked up. I am a strong believer is people having to reach rock bottom before things change, and that’s what happened to me. A very good friend and ex-colleague of mine told me that a company he had a meeting with happened to be looking for a Marketing person. I called George at B2B Partnerships, had a nice conversation, sent my CV and we immediately arranged to meet a couple of days later on the Southbank. I met both George and her partner Ali – 2 lovely ladies who have a fabulous company specialising in B2B marketing and helping companies’ partner with each other. To cut a long story short, I came back for a 2nd interview, left with a warm fuzzy feeling keeping my fingers and toes crossed that they too had the same warm fuzzy feeling about me; I received a phone-call a couple of hours later offering me the position of Marketing Manager!!!!!

HOORAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I start my new job tomorrow, there’s only the 3 of us, George, Ali & I. I don’t know a HUGE amount what I’ll be doing but I do know I’ll be working with the ACCA which is right up my street as I used to do some work with them when I worked at GAAPweb. What I do know is that I’m very excited; I’ll be doing some great marketing for the company - helping extend its reach and increase awareness of this fabulous organisation. Whatever work I do is going to have a direct impact on the success of the company which is filling me with a sense of great anticipation; what a great year I have ahead of me and it’s mine for the taking – I’ll get what I put in and for that alone I have vowed to give it my all.

So chaps and chapettes, for now I sign off. I will most definitely be starting a new, professional blog and I will be keeping an eye out on www.mylonglunch.com for any opportunities that I can benefit from, and I will of course contribute to any discussions I think warrant my two pennies worth of thought! I am now grateful for my stint of unemployment – it’s made me reassess what’s important and I am now more grateful than ever to have a job. I can now get really excited about summer weekends and festivals – to which I am going to 2, possibly 3 this year. Secret Garden and the festival to end all festivals – BESTIVAL!!! Those of you that know me well will appreciate the level of excitement that builds up every year in the run-up to Bestival! The fancy dress theme this year is “Space oddity.” I want to go as a Smash Martian from the old 80s adverts – any suggestions on how to make the outfit would be gratefully appreciated! Other than that if you are still looking for work, keep the faith; when I was at my lowest ebb and I thought the world was against me I found a great job; so if I can – you can too.

The end of my Marketing career as I know it???

I read a recent blog piece talking about the pressures of writing a blog; there is a constant nagging feeling that you should ALWAYS have to have something to write about, that there are people eagerly waiting to read about your exploits – and this is true! The dichotomy of writing a blog about unemployment and trying every trick in the book to get a new job is that you quickly run out of things to write about as life becomes simple and boring! I have gone from writing 3 blog pieces in my first month to one every 6 weeks. It just so happens that I have “stuff” to write about now! I have been living this roller-coaster life called unemployment and at this moment in time I feel like I have come to the end of my tether, so I thought I should share this with you, partly for a cathartic exercise and the pressure to write another blog post was getting too much!

Firstly - I’ve reached a landmark date in my unemployment: I have my 13 week appointment at the Jobcentre plus office. Not only will I be subjected to having to sign-on at 9.10am but I will have to hang around the Jobcentre plus office with the SW16 degenerates for a whole hour and half until I have my meeting on the first floor (I sign-on on the 3rd floor). At this meeting, we will discuss how my search is going, why I haven’t got a job yet (hmmmm, let me see – maybe it has something to do with the recession?!) and finally to look at what other jobs I have the skills to do. If I don’t have the skills perhaps I could be re-trained? I totally understand why I have to be subjected to this trauma, but why oh why must I go? I am intelligent, have attended loads of interviews, know how to apply for jobs and I also know how to make myself as visible online as possible. The prospect of having to explain to these numpties the complexities of financial years, and that the market is indeed picking up and I WILL get a proper job soon makes me want to slit my wrists. The thought of having to take an admin assistant job paying £16k a year fills me with horror. My degree (and the subsequent debt) feels like it was done for nothing, my years of office management, people management and HR training was for nothing, my taking a brave jump into the world of marketing, training up and working on getting my CIM Professional Diploma was for nothing, gaining oodles of online knowledge and running successful, engaging campaigns was for nothing! I suddenly feel like my destiny has been taken away from me and I am to become yet another paper-pushing, good for nothing Civil Servant whose reply to a member of public in need of assistance would be “the computer says no!”

My frustration has been compounded by being on the receiving end of incompetence in my job search. As mentioned in previous blogs, I have a brilliant relationship with Spotlight recruitment – they are a lovely bunch and are REALLY trying to get me working. A 3 month contract became available for a publishing company (I’m not mentioning their name as I’m quite cross and it wouldn’t be professional). I had previously attended an interview with their sister company so felt quietly confident, out of 6 CVs submitted they only wanted to see me which was a great boost. I met with the publisher, it was a strange interview - he spoke at me rather than asked me questions but I made sure I showed my relevant work and left with a feeling that I did my upmost best. The role was to segment their database, clean it, and develop targeted marketing messages so they can increase their ROI via various e-shots. A big but satisfying job; despite a lack of job description and being spoken at during the interview I was up for it, after all, it’s only for 3 months. Post interview I was told (and I quote) “The job’s yours if you want it.” Yee Ha!!!!! Work, money, I may be able to go to a few festivals this year – yippee!!! I even started to write a blog to you lot to say ciao for now! Anyhow, I get invited to meet the team which I eagerly accepted. The offices are just off the Goswell Road in a warehouse, the staff dress in “Camden chic” attire so I rock up in smart / casual clothes, with just a hand-bag to find I am indeed having an impromptu 2nd interview! SHOCK HORROR, I am totally unprepared and with-out my portfolio (queue disguised panic). I fluffed up a few times but feedback was good. I then received a text from Nicola at Spotlight asking me to call her on Tuesday (I was bridesmaid in Croatia at one of Best Friend’s wedding last weekend so I asked Nicola to text rather than call with news) – they had some further questions before I start. I followed up with an email. Suddenly the goal posts have been moved: do I have Quark, HTML & Java script?! Excuse me – I went for a marketing job, not a web developer’s job. So, this afternoon, I have gone from having a 3 month contract in the bag to having it retracted due to employer incompetence and wanting something for nothing: OOH – I COULD CRUSH A GRAPE!!!!!

What is it with recruiters thinking they can get candidates to jump through rings of fire at the moment? I’d had celebratory drinks, I’d updated my Twitter & Facebook status to say I had a 3 month contract, people congratulated me, I started to make plans, I started to smile and enjoy life again for it all to be taken away just like that – it’s wrong. I would have preferred to have not had an interview at all, rather than my hopes lifted and then dashed. It even reduced me to tears this afternoon: I have just had enough of it all.

There are lots of tools out there to help candidates get a job but what is the point in having these tools if recruiters think its ok to mislead candidates? I like Jamie et al have had a look round Workthing + and I absolutely love it. Just one problem: I don’t have £15 a month to spend down the pub or on nice M & S food let alone on finding the tools that will help me get a new job. To be honest with you, if a recruitment consultant is going to get 10 – 20% of my salary as a fee once they place me , then they should be briefing me, prepping me and giving me all the tools I need to get me a job. The problem being, there just aren’t the right amount of jobs out there at the moment and I can’t see how 50p a day out of my limited income of £64 a week is going to help me find employment (not when I used to give candidates advice on how to nail that job – very ironic that I should now be expected to pay to receive similar advice to what I have previously written!)

So chaps & chapettes, this is a plea: when you’re given a brief from a recruiter, make sure they fully know what they want, tell them not to muck candidates around as it’s just not fair. Ask them about internal candidates: I have now been pipped to the post 4 times over an internal candidate; totally understandable but so frustrating. One other thing, if you need someone who is desperate to get back to work, who is a great copy-writer (ask Jamie – I’ve been doing some bits and bobs for him), is passionate about marketing and campaign management, is a dab hand at utilising social media and wants to save her career from the jobs-worth down the SW16 centre for degenerates then I’m your girl! It’s my birthday on Saturday so finding a job – even if it is only for a month or so would be the best birthday present this South London girl could ask for.

The tide is turning... (a long over-due update)

I am pleased to say that my apathy is changing to optimism – the sun has been shining and I’ve taken full advantage of my unemployed status and lapped up as much sunshine as possible last week – in full anticipation of today’s dreaded rain. But the main thing that is making me really smile is that I am FINALLY getting some interviews through – yippee!!! So I have been very busy over the past month or so, hence the need for a well over-due update!

Job hunting is a funny thing: on the one hand I am over-qualified for a lot of roles, but then on the other hand I don’t have enough relevant experience – the frustration is mind-blowing. I was down to the final 5 for a job at Lastminute.com – oh – I would’ve bitten their hands off for a job there. The money was rubbish but what a brand to work for and I can only begin to imagine what the perks were. However, they decided that they needed someone with more “traditional” marketing experience... Hey? What’s all that about? Anyone would’ve thought they would want someone with a more digital background but it seems that even for Lastminute.com - the boundaries have changed since we entered into a recession.

I was also pretty much convinced that I had nailed a role in Farringdon working for Optimus publishing. I had half a day to prepare a marcoms strategy using social media (thanks to Jimmy Goldsmith for providing much needed printing facilities that sunny afternoon). I really saw this as my chance to excel and blow the other candidates out of the water – so I prepared a pretty decent presentation on how to use Twitter. I don’t like to blow my own trumpet but when both the Marketing Manager & MD were jotting down what I was saying and asking about TweetBeeps, the importance of #Hashtags etc I was pretty convinced I had nailed it (they hadn’t heard of the terms so I had to explain how they really should be using these to help monitor their online currency). The company as a whole was obviously at the infancy stage of implementing a social media marketing plan and I seemed to be the person who could help them do so quickly and easily. Again, the money for this role was rubbish but I got a nice feel for the company and after putting my current situation into a perspective, a low salary is better than no salary. My consultant told me that their initial reports were that I was their favourite candidate; great the job should be mine. OH NO – after all the hard work, the 2 hour interview and subsequent presentation hand-outs and notes taken during my presentation, they have decided to go for an internal candidate. I accept that recruiters are well within their rights to do so but it is very annoying after you’ve prepared a lot of work and in my case – pretty much prepared a Twitter marcoms campaign for them already. It’s also frustrating for the recruitment consultant – I’ve built up quite a good relationship with Louise @ Spotlight recruitment and trust her judgement; how infuriating it must be for her, briefing and prepping candidates only to find that there was no need for her hard work. I know I have given some rec cons a hard time but when you find a good one you want them to be treated decently as you know they go the extra mile for their candidates and deserve the fee they earn when they successfully place someone. I have requested feedback as to why they chose not to go for me so I can learn for future interviews but I’m still waiting... In the meantime I’m preparing for a 2nd at RBI and 2 firsts at Informa – so the future is looking bright!

Other than job hunting, some bits and bobs of freelance work (thanks to Jamie) and upping the ante on the running stakes – I have been glued to The Apprentice. A couple of weeks ago when I saw Debra whip out a Secsinthecity make-up mirror I was a) shocked that she hadn’t bought a new make-up mirror for when she was on TV, b) quite impressed – did she consciously mean to get some prominent brand placement on TV? If so, good job and c) realised that I need to stop using my Secsinthecity mirror and invest in a nice new one; it is after all nearly 10 months since I left TMDR so time to move on I think! After Debra very nearly got the chop in the first week I have been eagerly watching to see if she’s going to go full throttle in the next few episodes, but I have been quite glad to see that she’s been quite refrained. I watched the last episode (followed by You’re Fired) on iPlayer this weekend and I thought Debra gave a fantastic presentation; it showed why she’s gotten to where she is – I am just waiting for her to come into her own again and start calling the shots. She’s been a wee bit quiet recently so whenever it will be no doubt it will be good TV!

However, I was really very cross throughout that entire episode of The Apprentice and I couldn’t decide who to direct my anger at: Phil for being such an over-bearing, idiotic, know-it-all twit for suggesting such a stupid, “pants” idea, or for Kimberley, the so called Marketing Consultant for going along with such a ridiculous, crap, stupid product?! She’s supposed to be a marketer? Where exactly was she proposing to position this product? Pants man & Wake-up call?! Hello? What about all her knowledge, years of experience etc? Was this just another example of the sales v marketing battle or did KImberley really have no decent marketing knowledge? The only decent thing about the product was the execution of the commercial but this should not have been the main thing that Kimberley was proud about – it should’ve been her product development & design and a delivering a decent pitch (she couldn’t even be bothered to do that and left it to poor old Mona!) Marketers like Kimberley give hard working marketers like me a bad name!

So, the jobs are starting to come through which I really am very, very relieved about. Some of you have been sending me links to good jobs being advertised which I really appreciate (big thanks to Stephen O’Donnell – I’ll let you know if James Cann invites me for an interview). I’ve had some good meetings with fellow mylonglunchers which have lead to some opportunities which is really positive. My Dad has stopped sending me links to jobs for numpties and is more sympathetic to my cause. On the plus side, as there’s a bank holiday on the horizon so I don’t have to go down to the Jobcentre until 18th May which is fabulous! I was last down there a week ago – this being the day after I returned from quite a large “Hen Weekend” in Bath. As I opted to sign on at 9am on Mondays I had a bit of difficulty getting out of bed that Monday morning so I grabbed a latté with an extra shot on route to meet with the degenerates. Can you believe that a legion of security guards confiscated it upon entry to the Jobcentre?! I haven’t had anything confiscated since I was about 15! It was taken In case I became violent and threw it at a member of staff. Now, I know Ken can be a bit annoying but I would never throw a much needed hot latté at him! This became a talking point with some other people who were waiting to be seen – we agreed that we should be put in a different room, away from the other people that frequented the establishment once a fortnight (and have no intention of doing anything other than claiming off the government). The scary thing is – I’m starting to make friends down the Jobcentre! We sit in the same spots every week, we all politely ask how the hunt is going – and then try and ignore the cussing chap (one of the many SW16 degenerates) who fails to pull his trousers up every week, stinks of weed and calls all the staff a “bleep, bleep, bleep!” It’s when this chap rocks up every week I see the need for the security guards and understand why they took my coffee from me. I have actually applied for an Assistant Brand Manager role at the DWP. If I get it – I’ll do my upmost to change those god-forsaken hell holes for the good – they really are awful, I hope you never have to enter one.

Is it ok to tell porky-pies to land a new job?

I haven’t written anything in a few weeks as (to put it bluntly) I haven’t had that much to write about! A couple of dramatic events happened in my family circle that put my lack of employment predicament into perspective; my focus shifted from looking for work to providing support for family members (I won’t bore you with the details) but I am now back, 200% concentrating on getting my life in order and getting back to work. After all, no matter what life events happen, not having a job isn’t going to help matters and in this current climate, things are getting worse not better so now is not the time to be relaxing.

One thing in particular has caught my attention over the past 10 days or so and has got me thinking about how I got to where I am today, how I can change things and why do some people “get there” despite not appearing to have that much talent? I am talking about The Apprentice which starts this week, and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the trailers to see that an ex-colleague of mine is one of the chosen few attempting to become Sir Alan Sugar’s next apprentice!

Not wanting to name names, or say anything damning against my ex-colleague as we never really worked together (we worked for the same company but for different brands), so our paths never crossed other than on the walk to and from the station (and we never really hit it off in our conversations - clash of opinions over trivial matters meant we were never destined to be best buddies!) What I did know about my ex-colleague was that she was good at her job, and embraced the work-hard, play hard mentality of the team; this didn't however stop my jaw from hitting the ground when I saw her on the trailers. From getting hooked to all past series’ of The Apprentice I have decided that £100K a year or not, I would not put myself in that situation; getting fired is humiliating enough let alone having the whole country watching the indignation of it all on national television - and all the bitching that inevitably happens in and outside the boardroom just isn’t for me!

It begs the question: to get anywhere in today’s society do you need to have an ego big enough to believe that you can indeed run the world (no matter what skills you lack) and then be willing and able to get the claws out if necessary to rid yourself of all competition? This is all a bit too cut throat for me; I wouldn’t be able to handle the bitching in the boardroom and I don’t have a massive ego. However, given my current situation and the quite obvious lack of opportunities available at the moment I think I could learn a thing or two from my ex-colleague and perhaps work on developing my ego if I want to land a new job? Should I be applying for all jobs that vaguely interest me and have the belief that I can do all of it, despite not having all the skill-set required? On The Apprentice it astounds me the amount of people on there who are blatantly very good sales people but don’t seem to have much else to offer, so they ultimately get fired; the self belief they must have to apply and then get that far is admirable – but did they seriously believe they were good enough to win? Despite being able to earn copious amounts of money in a team, commission based environment, when it comes to project managing ventures many are just unable to cut it.

In today’s world where recruiters are looking for EXACT matches on the skills required, I wonder how many people are watching The Apprentice thinking they’ll have a go at being a big shot, only to be let down by the economic climate, and false promises of the world being their oyster? To get my foot in the door in a company that I REALLY want to work for, should I lie on my CV like last years’ winner of The Apprentice Lee McQueen? Maybe if I told a few porky-pies I would indeed land a brilliant, sparkly new job rather than my continued trawling through the internet, constantly emailing and calling recruitment consultants in the hope that I’ll be able to land a job based on my honest CV? The fact that Lee McQueen landed the coveted prize of becoming Sir Alan’s apprentice despite telling a big fat lie makes me wonder what my ex-colleague put on her application form to get through. Has it now become acceptable to tell lies to get to where you need to be? That doesn’t make me feel very comfortable and I like to believe that what I achieve academically and professionally is done through hard-work and determination, not by telling lies – but is that why I’m still unemployed? Am I too honest for my own good? Lies or no lies, I can tell you that my ex-colleague didn’t make it to the final (I have no idea how far she got), she returned to work about 6 weeks ago – back to being a sales exec. I wonder if she’ll rue the day she entered the competition when she returns to work the day after her firing on national television or will her courage to take the plunge reap rewards and open up more opportunities to her? I wish her the best of luck as its very tough out there at the moment.

Back to my little bubble – well not much is happening at all. News reports saying that unemployment in London has actually decreased is a load of baloney. I had to queue to get through the Jobcentre plus doors this morning and the SW16 degenerates are changing in character. There were more people who I would associate with in there this morning than there were degenerates – I find this very worrying as it means the competition for even the most demeaning of jobs has tightened. I went through the “hot jobs” list today to find that 4 out of the 5 jobs I liked had been closed to applications within a day due to the sheer amount of interest. I have gone from being a very positive, newly unemployed marketer, to biting off people’s arms for the tiniest amount of work. I’m considering going back to office management as at least there are some jobs available there. After all the hard work I’ve put into getting my CIM qualification, I’m cross that now being so close to completion this effort may not have been worth it due to the stupid recession. Don’t get me wrong, I want to stick with marketing as that’s my passion and I know that I’m good at it, there is just so much competition it’s difficult at times to keep your pecker up.

So for the time being, I’m still running, I’m still applying for jobs, I’m perfecting my baking skills and I’m doing odd bits of work for friends and associates to tide me over. I have a hen do to go to in mid-April, followed by the “Big Wedding” in May for which I am bridesmaid and it’s in Croatia (very exciting!) I had hoped to be in a “proper” job by then so that I can enjoy myself without worrying about money: with a bit of good fortune my luck will change and I’ll have some exciting news to tell you - fingers crossed

Your flexible friend...?

I actually started to write this post at 2am this morning - I didn't publish it then as I thought it might need reviewing but here goes. I had an attack of Sunday night insomnia - something I usually associate with the apprehension of the start of a new working week and all the tasks that need to be completed in a short space of time. This, for obvious reasons was not the cause of my insomnia (which - might I add was exacerbated by husband's VERY loud snoring!) I took myself off to the living room, made a hot chocolate, chucked a quilt on the sofa and settled down for the night; realising sleep was evading me I thought I would jot some thoughts down for my blog.

The cause of my insomnia was flexibility. Having spent the weekend in Manchester visiting my friend Emma from uni, I got thinking about the job market in general, and if there are geographical differences in the demand for candidates, or is it just difficult to find a job everywhere in the UK right now? I'm the first to admit that it's a lot tougher looking for a job than it was the last time I looked, and the question being asked by practically every recruiter at the moment is: "how flexible are you?" My response to this is "very." My cause for concern is how that one little word is interpreted: how flexible is very flexible? Should I be considering relocating to find employment? My immediate reaction is no, my husband has a good, stable job (touch wood) in London so relocating is out of the question for me, but in my saying I am very flexible - should I be considering locations other than London and the South East or is my flexibility purely salary and contract based?

I've had a look at some recruitment ads for Leeds, Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham etc and was surprised to find that the traditional gap in salaries is closing, many roles are offering better packages to those advertised in London. If I wasn't happily married and settled in London I probably would be better off moving up north for a new job. If I moved up north then I imagine at some point in the not too distant future, I would be able to afford a house of my own. Living in London, credit crunch or no credit crunch, buying a property is just not possible (well I have to get a job first for it even to become a remote possibility!) Anyhow, moving up north is out of the question so I guess I'll have to continue my search in London Town.

When I was in Manchester, I rallied the girls into going to a nice big Irish pub to watch Ireland v England, I had conned them into becoming plastic Paddies for the day - you can imagine their horror when they clocked it was an England match! Anyhow, being 2nd generation Irish I was delighted with the score - was a cracking match and with a bit of luck Ireland may even get the grand slam. Just before we set off for the pub I spoke to my Dad who was checking that I had found a suitable drinking establishment to cheer on the boys. Now, my Dad is someone I go to when I want a bit of reassurance, advice, morale boosting and maybe even a sub of some cash now I am officially unemployed - he's great for making me feel good about myself: he is sure that the right job is out there waiting for me, I just need to find it. He works for one of the "Big 4" and has instilled in me that if you work hard and are dedicated you'll get to the top. I told him how things were going, that I did have a 2nd interview but "other candidates had more applicable experience" so I didn't get through to the next stage. Upon hearing this (now wait for it, if you're of a delicate nature I suggest sitting down) - my trusted, reliable Daddy darling tells me that "KFC & Asda are recruiting - why don't I try there?!" HELLO - I go to Asda to get my cheap groceries (I used to be a Sainsburys girl but they're too pricey now) and I go to KFC after a drunken night out, getting my bargain bucket full of greasy chicken and perhaps some corn on the cob to ease my guilty conscience. Sensing my shock, Dad tops it off by saying, "well, beggars can't be choosers - they are recruiting and you're the one banging on about flexibility!!!" So there we go, it all boils down to flexibility and I'm beginning to think that I'm not so flexible after all, if I was, I'd be taking a job in central Manchester serving up greasy chicken to the drunken masses!

Moving on from my shock I can report that I am still doing the right thing: calling my contacts, applying for jobs and chasing those recruiters that still haven't got back to me. It saddens me to say that after having some really good face-to-face conversations a couple of weeks ago with two potential recruiters, (who promised me feedback) that I am still waiting to find out what they thought of me. It's a good job I'm made of tough skin otherwise I would get paranoid and would be offended by their communication short-falls. Some of my friends have suggested that I take up writing after reading my blog (que beaming smiles). That's a lovely compliment but I don't think now is the right time to be changing career. I have a sneaky feeling that the moment I took up writing as a profession my creative juices would stop flowing, anyhow, I'm passionate about marketing and recruitment so surely there must be a role out there where I can utilise all my skills? On a personal note, I've started my training and am pleased to report that I am indeed getting faster, I did 6km in 31 minutes the other day which I was jolly impressed with. I've set myself the goal of being able to run 21km in 16 weeks time on the treadmill - (that's half marathon distance). I've figured if I am able to do the distance by then on the treadmill then road running in September should be a doddle...

So, I start week 3 of unemployment realising that running and my blog are keeping me occupied, I have the potential to be a writer and I'm not actually that flexible. I have a meeting arranged for Wednesday which sounds promising but I'm keeping the details of that under my hat. There are also some serious contract possibilities coming up. I would be over-joyed if I didn't have to spend next Monday morning with the SW16 degenerates so keep your fingers crossed for me!!!

A day of contrasts...

So, I've returned from an intrepid day exploring the metropolis in search of gainful employment and I have to say I am shattered!

I started off my day signing on and I have not one positive comment about my experience. I got there early as promised so that I could utilise the job point to search for yet more jobs. They had the same useless selection they had on Thursday but hey ho - at least I got there early! I handed my job hunting diary to point G where I was I was told to go and I waited.

Various people entered the room and did what I did - not one of them looked like they were in any hope of finding a job soon - was I the only one who had made the effort to at least look employable??? I was getting cross - thinking back to my days of studying British history at college and wondering if the re-introduction of the workhouse would be a goer? Dividing up the unemployed into deserving and undeserving poor: surely these un-motivated & scruffy people would be undeserving and me deserving? I don't know - you think about all the years you've paid into the system and when you're face-to-face with the regular folk who sign on you can't help but get cross and wonder - if you can't beat them join them? To make matters worse once I get to sit at point G (a whole hour later than my allotted time), I go through my diary and I get a pat on the back for my efforts at finding work (another biting my tongue moment, reminding myself to be grateful - this chap after all is only doing his job) - I then asked the fateful question: "when will I get my first payment?" Now - I am a patient type of gal but when he replies - "ah, there's a backlog, normally it's 10 days after your first appointment, but there's a backlog of 3 weeks. Tell them you've got an interview and they'll rush it through." EXCUSE ME?!?! So not only do they insult me by offering me £60.50 a week but I am going to have to wait a full 4 weeks before they can put the money into my account? Oh, don't get me started!!!!! So I await my money patiently and wonder if I'll get a bulk payment or will it be 4 weeks until I get my first installment of £60.50?

So, week 2 of joining the legions of Brits unemployed doesn't start off brilliantly! However, it wasn't all bad. I set off into London town, buy The Guardian and check the job pages (better doing it online - obviously but at least I've caught up with the news). I'm excited, I'm meeting my old manager for lunch (her treat). Now Mel is always good for a giggle and a morale boost; I tell her my tales of Thailand and she laughs in the right places and tells me she misses working with me. At that very moment I get a call from a recruiter saying he has a lovely Data Account Management role that matches my skill-set perfectly and would I like to be put forward for the role?! Brilliant - I'm forgetting the degenerates of the SW16 Jobcentre plus office already!!! Mel tells me there's the possibility of a job in Haywards Heath that she'll recommend me for - it's only 25 mins from Croydon so that's easy - I'm perking up!

After lunch we head to Oxford Street to check out Topshop (Mel lives in Jersey these days - they don't really have the greatest selection of shops). The urge to shop had suddenly left me, not because I'm skint but because I am obviously advancing in years and am no longer down with the kids - I seriously would not be seen dead in a lot of the stuff that were on the shelves!

Anyway I digress, confidence boosted I leave Mel and trot off to Holborn for a follow up from last weeks' telephone interview and go the meet Sarah from HR in Starbucks. I think it went well, Sarah was lovely, she tells me the need is urgent and they want to recruit by Friday. She also tells me that she'll give me a call tomorrow (that sounds positive does it not?) So, you never know - I may have a 2nd interview in the bag this week.

Going back to my last entry about adding value to the recruitment process. I met with Monique and Michael at Mimo associates today and you know what? They are fantastic at their job! They are lovely at Mimo, they return emails, give you a call and invite you to chew that fat at their offices over a cup of tea. I can open up to them, I feel like they really know me and care. They are doing what practically every other recruitment consultant doesn't do: they add value to the whole recruitment process. They're putting me forward for another account management role - and I honestly believe that they will do their best at securing me a new job. When I tell them I want a nice job with nice people they know exactly what I mean - they also know that I will be as flexible as possible when it comes to getting back to work. If they don't manage to place me, I will still go out of my way to recommend them as they care about their candidates. Recruiters - I urge you to place your roles with them, they are the good guys! I won't start listing the other "consultancies" that I have a negative view about - a) it would take too long and b) I believe in karma and what goes around comes around (I am sure you are able to differentiate the good guys from the bad).

So, I'm feeling quite positive about the whole experience at the moment. I won't have to spend anymore time with the SW16 degenerates for a whole 2 weeks which is cause for celebration enough. I've been put forward for a few roles which is good and there's a possibility of a 2nd this week, not all bad I tell thee! I've also managed to get off cooking duty today and hubby has treated us to a Papa Johns pizza for dinner - life's not that after all!

Starting the hunt for a sparkly new job!

I'm Jo Courtney, a 30 year old woman from South London. I have worked in the wonderful world of online recruitment for three and a half years in one guise or another. I now find myself unemployed and to save myself from succumbing to "Loose Women" and "This Morning" I thought I would share my experiences with you so that I don't go mad with boredom and you never know, you might get entertained or perhaps learn a thing or two.

I moved from Office Management to Marketing a year and a half ago. I love marketing, it allows creativity and is great for those of you who are results driven. There's a certain buzz you get from seeing a campaign turn into a success from a "light-bulb" moment (and I still get a certain thrill when I see my ads in print). Specialising in online recruitment marketing - it is quite a learning curve to now be sitting on the other side of the recruitment fence.

I lost my job at the end of January, 2 days before I set off on my two week holiday to Thailand. Bad timing you may say but I disagree. I boarded that plane at Heathrow without a care in the world, I was chilled and stress-free, looking forward to the craziness of Bangkok and some beach action on Koh Tao and Koh Phangnan. I have now returned tanned, even more chilled and eager to start the hunt for my dream job (although freelance / part-time / contract work will do in the interim - I even have an application form for my local JD Weatherspoon!) Being the pro-active person that I am I even found myself applying for jobs in hot, sticky internet cafes whilst on holiday when I could have been supping a cocktail on the beach, unfortunately this was necessary given the current climate.

Yesterday I took the brave step of shedding my pride and going down the local job centre plus office to sign-on. Oh the irony - having once written articles for candidates on how to optimise your job search, writing the perfect CV and nailing that all important job application - I now find myself on the receiving end of such advice (and trying not to be cynical!) I have to apply for 3 jobs a week and keep a note of my applications in my job-hunting diary, and I have to call the job-centre plus number once a week. Failure to do so will result in my weekly benefit of £60.50 a week (must remember not to go and spend that all at once) from being withdrawn. I found myself being subjected to questions such as: do I know how to write a CV and would I like to attend a CV clinic, do I check the local paper for job opportunities etc. I found myself teaching my "advisor" a thing to as I reeled off the various different job-boards where I have up-loaded my CV - explaining there's been a dramatic decline in print publishing and the internet is the way forward when it comes to looking for a job. When asked what have I done to find employment I explained that in the 4 days that I have been actively seeking a job since I got back from holiday that I have indeed applied for 17 jobs! I had to seriously bite my tongue (and without wanting to sound like a snob) - did the lady seriously think I needed advice on how to hunt for a job? I wanted to tell some of the more desirable job centre plus attendees to get off their back-sides and at least look like they wanted to get a job - they need the advice more than I do! And these offices are crammed full of security guards, I had no idea that job-hunting had become so aggressive! At the end of my consultation I found myself telling the advisor how the government could learn a thing a two from commercial job-boards and was offering advice on how they could improve their job-searching facilities to improve user experience and functionality!!!

And then there's the constant applying, applying and applying for jobs. One of the main things I loved about my previous roles was adding value to the job hunting process, for both candidates and clients. Now I'm sitting on the other side of the fence I feel like the reams of advice that have been given to recruiters over the years has fallen on deaf ears! I really enjoyed nurturing my candidates, keeping them informed of market developments and advising them on how they can take advantage of this to help them land their next job. In turn, I'd send quarterly e-DMs to clients, telling them about our star candidates, how to take advantage of web 2.0 when it comes to finding potential job-seekers, basically trying to encourage a symbiotic relationship between clients and candidates. Candidate marketing is very important for job-boards, by nuturing that relationship candidates will naturally keep in contact with you (even if they land a job), after all - isn't it every recruiters' dream to convert a potential job-seeker into an employee? It seems that now we are in the middle of the deepest, darkest recession this country has seen for many years that recruiters are no longer interested in nurturing their candidates, or adding any sort of value to the recruitment process. Companies (particularly recruitment publishers) are petrified of going bust and rather than taking their own advice and looking after what they have, they are more interested in selling recruitment advertising space (be that on or off-line) rather than looking after the one thing that makes their job possible in the first place - their candidates!

So recruiters, just because there is a glut of candidates in the market it doesn't mean you should neglect them. When I have taken enough interest in your organisation to want to work for you, then let me know my application has reached you safely, if I have cajoled my CV to fit nicely on two sides of A4, written a cracking covering letter then the least you could do is stick to your end of the bargain and acknowledge my application. If I have taken 45 minutes out of my day to have a telephone interview with you, have forwarded you examples of my work and followed up with a polite email thanking you for taking the time to speak with me then the least I expect is for you to do what you said you were going to do and come back to me within the agreed timescales.

So, I end my first week of job-hunting preparing for my 9.10am appointment on Monday morning at the social (remembering to get there 10 minutes early so I can take advantage of the job points to help me with my search, and to fill out my job hunting diary), and I am continuing to trawl the internet to apply for even more phantom jobs! Having just written that I have just taken a genuine call from a recruitment consultant and we're meeting on Monday - hoorah - maybe I should have more faith?!

Unemployment does have it's benefits, my husband is delighted that I have now become a "proper wife." He comes home to find his dinner on the table, the washing up done and the laundry has been hung out to dry (although I draw the line at ironing his shirts). I now have time to complete my 3rd assignment of my Professional Diploma in Marketing and can take advantage of the free gym downstairs - after all, I am taking part in a half marathon this year so some training would be a good idea. However, I would much prefer to be back in the wonderful world of employment...... any takers?!