Is it ok to tell porky-pies to land a new job?

I haven’t written anything in a few weeks as (to put it bluntly) I haven’t had that much to write about! A couple of dramatic events happened in my family circle that put my lack of employment predicament into perspective; my focus shifted from looking for work to providing support for family members (I won’t bore you with the details) but I am now back, 200% concentrating on getting my life in order and getting back to work. After all, no matter what life events happen, not having a job isn’t going to help matters and in this current climate, things are getting worse not better so now is not the time to be relaxing.

One thing in particular has caught my attention over the past 10 days or so and has got me thinking about how I got to where I am today, how I can change things and why do some people “get there” despite not appearing to have that much talent? I am talking about The Apprentice which starts this week, and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the trailers to see that an ex-colleague of mine is one of the chosen few attempting to become Sir Alan Sugar’s next apprentice!

Not wanting to name names, or say anything damning against my ex-colleague as we never really worked together (we worked for the same company but for different brands), so our paths never crossed other than on the walk to and from the station (and we never really hit it off in our conversations - clash of opinions over trivial matters meant we were never destined to be best buddies!) What I did know about my ex-colleague was that she was good at her job, and embraced the work-hard, play hard mentality of the team; this didn't however stop my jaw from hitting the ground when I saw her on the trailers. From getting hooked to all past series’ of The Apprentice I have decided that £100K a year or not, I would not put myself in that situation; getting fired is humiliating enough let alone having the whole country watching the indignation of it all on national television - and all the bitching that inevitably happens in and outside the boardroom just isn’t for me!

It begs the question: to get anywhere in today’s society do you need to have an ego big enough to believe that you can indeed run the world (no matter what skills you lack) and then be willing and able to get the claws out if necessary to rid yourself of all competition? This is all a bit too cut throat for me; I wouldn’t be able to handle the bitching in the boardroom and I don’t have a massive ego. However, given my current situation and the quite obvious lack of opportunities available at the moment I think I could learn a thing or two from my ex-colleague and perhaps work on developing my ego if I want to land a new job? Should I be applying for all jobs that vaguely interest me and have the belief that I can do all of it, despite not having all the skill-set required? On The Apprentice it astounds me the amount of people on there who are blatantly very good sales people but don’t seem to have much else to offer, so they ultimately get fired; the self belief they must have to apply and then get that far is admirable – but did they seriously believe they were good enough to win? Despite being able to earn copious amounts of money in a team, commission based environment, when it comes to project managing ventures many are just unable to cut it.

In today’s world where recruiters are looking for EXACT matches on the skills required, I wonder how many people are watching The Apprentice thinking they’ll have a go at being a big shot, only to be let down by the economic climate, and false promises of the world being their oyster? To get my foot in the door in a company that I REALLY want to work for, should I lie on my CV like last years’ winner of The Apprentice Lee McQueen? Maybe if I told a few porky-pies I would indeed land a brilliant, sparkly new job rather than my continued trawling through the internet, constantly emailing and calling recruitment consultants in the hope that I’ll be able to land a job based on my honest CV? The fact that Lee McQueen landed the coveted prize of becoming Sir Alan’s apprentice despite telling a big fat lie makes me wonder what my ex-colleague put on her application form to get through. Has it now become acceptable to tell lies to get to where you need to be? That doesn’t make me feel very comfortable and I like to believe that what I achieve academically and professionally is done through hard-work and determination, not by telling lies – but is that why I’m still unemployed? Am I too honest for my own good? Lies or no lies, I can tell you that my ex-colleague didn’t make it to the final (I have no idea how far she got), she returned to work about 6 weeks ago – back to being a sales exec. I wonder if she’ll rue the day she entered the competition when she returns to work the day after her firing on national television or will her courage to take the plunge reap rewards and open up more opportunities to her? I wish her the best of luck as its very tough out there at the moment.

Back to my little bubble – well not much is happening at all. News reports saying that unemployment in London has actually decreased is a load of baloney. I had to queue to get through the Jobcentre plus doors this morning and the SW16 degenerates are changing in character. There were more people who I would associate with in there this morning than there were degenerates – I find this very worrying as it means the competition for even the most demeaning of jobs has tightened. I went through the “hot jobs” list today to find that 4 out of the 5 jobs I liked had been closed to applications within a day due to the sheer amount of interest. I have gone from being a very positive, newly unemployed marketer, to biting off people’s arms for the tiniest amount of work. I’m considering going back to office management as at least there are some jobs available there. After all the hard work I’ve put into getting my CIM qualification, I’m cross that now being so close to completion this effort may not have been worth it due to the stupid recession. Don’t get me wrong, I want to stick with marketing as that’s my passion and I know that I’m good at it, there is just so much competition it’s difficult at times to keep your pecker up.

So for the time being, I’m still running, I’m still applying for jobs, I’m perfecting my baking skills and I’m doing odd bits of work for friends and associates to tide me over. I have a hen do to go to in mid-April, followed by the “Big Wedding” in May for which I am bridesmaid and it’s in Croatia (very exciting!) I had hoped to be in a “proper” job by then so that I can enjoy myself without worrying about money: with a bit of good fortune my luck will change and I’ll have some exciting news to tell you - fingers crossed

Your flexible friend...?

I actually started to write this post at 2am this morning - I didn't publish it then as I thought it might need reviewing but here goes. I had an attack of Sunday night insomnia - something I usually associate with the apprehension of the start of a new working week and all the tasks that need to be completed in a short space of time. This, for obvious reasons was not the cause of my insomnia (which - might I add was exacerbated by husband's VERY loud snoring!) I took myself off to the living room, made a hot chocolate, chucked a quilt on the sofa and settled down for the night; realising sleep was evading me I thought I would jot some thoughts down for my blog.

The cause of my insomnia was flexibility. Having spent the weekend in Manchester visiting my friend Emma from uni, I got thinking about the job market in general, and if there are geographical differences in the demand for candidates, or is it just difficult to find a job everywhere in the UK right now? I'm the first to admit that it's a lot tougher looking for a job than it was the last time I looked, and the question being asked by practically every recruiter at the moment is: "how flexible are you?" My response to this is "very." My cause for concern is how that one little word is interpreted: how flexible is very flexible? Should I be considering relocating to find employment? My immediate reaction is no, my husband has a good, stable job (touch wood) in London so relocating is out of the question for me, but in my saying I am very flexible - should I be considering locations other than London and the South East or is my flexibility purely salary and contract based?

I've had a look at some recruitment ads for Leeds, Manchester, Liverpool, Birmingham etc and was surprised to find that the traditional gap in salaries is closing, many roles are offering better packages to those advertised in London. If I wasn't happily married and settled in London I probably would be better off moving up north for a new job. If I moved up north then I imagine at some point in the not too distant future, I would be able to afford a house of my own. Living in London, credit crunch or no credit crunch, buying a property is just not possible (well I have to get a job first for it even to become a remote possibility!) Anyhow, moving up north is out of the question so I guess I'll have to continue my search in London Town.

When I was in Manchester, I rallied the girls into going to a nice big Irish pub to watch Ireland v England, I had conned them into becoming plastic Paddies for the day - you can imagine their horror when they clocked it was an England match! Anyhow, being 2nd generation Irish I was delighted with the score - was a cracking match and with a bit of luck Ireland may even get the grand slam. Just before we set off for the pub I spoke to my Dad who was checking that I had found a suitable drinking establishment to cheer on the boys. Now, my Dad is someone I go to when I want a bit of reassurance, advice, morale boosting and maybe even a sub of some cash now I am officially unemployed - he's great for making me feel good about myself: he is sure that the right job is out there waiting for me, I just need to find it. He works for one of the "Big 4" and has instilled in me that if you work hard and are dedicated you'll get to the top. I told him how things were going, that I did have a 2nd interview but "other candidates had more applicable experience" so I didn't get through to the next stage. Upon hearing this (now wait for it, if you're of a delicate nature I suggest sitting down) - my trusted, reliable Daddy darling tells me that "KFC & Asda are recruiting - why don't I try there?!" HELLO - I go to Asda to get my cheap groceries (I used to be a Sainsburys girl but they're too pricey now) and I go to KFC after a drunken night out, getting my bargain bucket full of greasy chicken and perhaps some corn on the cob to ease my guilty conscience. Sensing my shock, Dad tops it off by saying, "well, beggars can't be choosers - they are recruiting and you're the one banging on about flexibility!!!" So there we go, it all boils down to flexibility and I'm beginning to think that I'm not so flexible after all, if I was, I'd be taking a job in central Manchester serving up greasy chicken to the drunken masses!

Moving on from my shock I can report that I am still doing the right thing: calling my contacts, applying for jobs and chasing those recruiters that still haven't got back to me. It saddens me to say that after having some really good face-to-face conversations a couple of weeks ago with two potential recruiters, (who promised me feedback) that I am still waiting to find out what they thought of me. It's a good job I'm made of tough skin otherwise I would get paranoid and would be offended by their communication short-falls. Some of my friends have suggested that I take up writing after reading my blog (que beaming smiles). That's a lovely compliment but I don't think now is the right time to be changing career. I have a sneaky feeling that the moment I took up writing as a profession my creative juices would stop flowing, anyhow, I'm passionate about marketing and recruitment so surely there must be a role out there where I can utilise all my skills? On a personal note, I've started my training and am pleased to report that I am indeed getting faster, I did 6km in 31 minutes the other day which I was jolly impressed with. I've set myself the goal of being able to run 21km in 16 weeks time on the treadmill - (that's half marathon distance). I've figured if I am able to do the distance by then on the treadmill then road running in September should be a doddle...

So, I start week 3 of unemployment realising that running and my blog are keeping me occupied, I have the potential to be a writer and I'm not actually that flexible. I have a meeting arranged for Wednesday which sounds promising but I'm keeping the details of that under my hat. There are also some serious contract possibilities coming up. I would be over-joyed if I didn't have to spend next Monday morning with the SW16 degenerates so keep your fingers crossed for me!!!